Saturday, November 12, 2005

The Whole Band Thing


Just back from London, after playing 2 shows (Thursday & Friday), both in the somewhat run-down side that is the east part of the capital. It occurs to me that my whole food blogging thing is gonna suffer when I'm called away to these battles with my comrades.....

...But then I thought, well I have to eat whilst I'm away and admittedly, the food provided by most venues is B.A.D....(yes, all 3 letters capitalised and punctuated)...Basic And Dire......Bereft of All dietary fibre?....I could go on....

What happens when you're in a band is that you have a Rider; a list of required food stuffs and liquid for consumption in the dressing-room area of the venue. Take note of the fact that it is thee artistes that foot the bill, paying for such commodities as coffee and wine out of the proceeds for playing the show, which goes some way to explaining why we don't have smoked salmon and chardonnay most nights....

This is what we have on our Rider:

Wholemeal Pitta Breads
1 bottle Red Wine (for myself)
24 Cans of Lager (for the others, although I end up having some)
Selection of Fruit
12 Bottles of Mineral Water
Some Chocolate (that was probably my idea I think)

This is what we get for the most part:

24 cans of Lager
Potato Crisps
Chocolate (sometimes)
Water (sometimes)

It seems to me that the people responsible for buying in these things for which we ask, are both very lazy and also, seem to not be well-versed in the notion that people may actually want fruit and wholemeal bread-stuffs...This may seem rather trivial and neither here-nor-there, but then take into consideration that boys (and girls) like us, often spend 28 days out of 30 doing these silly shows for kids the length and breadth of this little island....It starts to get more serious; you begin to entertain the paranoid thoughts that you really are involved in some kind of Morgan Spurlock 'esq experiment to see whether you can completely ruin your health from the inside out (and that's not the bit you're getting paid for!)

Alternatively, a venue may not provide a Rider, instead giving each member of the band and crew a "buy-out", that is to say, money up-front, in advance of the playing that night, to be used for purchase of food. This then inevitably brings into play thee Pub-Chain-Meal-Deal. Boasting such fare as "2 meals for the price of 1, between 2pm & 7pm (does not include Burgers, Scampi or the Chilli)". These establishments are horrible, serving just the right balance of fat, salt and more fat. Exactly what kids need in order to maintain the necessary energy levels, a kind of pre-requisite when playing everyday for a month.

So anyway, what with a new digital camera coming my way (i hope) and, what with my friend and mentor Rachael pointing out to me "you can't keep stealing images from the internet", i thought i might try and keep a log of the kind of crap me and mine end up putting in our bellies whilst out-and-about. (Something to shows the kids - if I've a fertile fibre left within my skinny, malnourished body that is).

For the record, last night i mostly ate wholemeal bread with processed ham and cheese, washed down with free pints of lager.

Read it and weep suckers.



Rachael said...


Mentor, eh? You'd better watch out kiddo, my last mentoree ended up a stripper in Trenton (our version of Manchester)...and I suspect on a diet like that you just won't cut it...


Sam said...

So Rachael set you up for this blogging mularky, did she then?
Did she tell you that food blogging pays less even than being in a band?

(At least to begin with)

You have just reminded me I used to be in charge of the Ryders for our college Social club. And would stick to the requests to a T, if they were in budget.

I did ryders for all sorts of bands I've forgotten the names of like that wierdy bierdy guy who sang "Moving on up to the Spirit in the Sky, that's where I'm gonna go when I die". SOme bands actually got taken out to dinner. That's how I cane to dine with Katrina and the Waves. I also took out Boy Band (before boy bands were invented), "Brother Beyond". Let me tell you, they were a smashing bunch of lads really. I think I might now be married to one of them if I hadn't been too shy to call him when I mived to London. Even though I was a curious little hippy shit at the time, he totally was nice to me. He dedicated a song to me on stage and gave me a sweet kiss goodbye and his number. I can't believe I never called it. duh! I wonder what he's doing now? He was called "Eg" so my waste of bandwith on your blog comments is tenuously food related.

good luck with the food log
and the music


Rachael said...

(His name was Norman Greenberg. HELLO! They played Spirit in the Sky at Hunter Thompsons funeral! How could she not know that? You Brits, I swear...LOL)

Um...sorry, Dennis.

Dennis Caswell said...

Mmmmm...I must admit, the only version i really know is the Doctor & The Medics one...Rachael, i think it's un-cool if you DO know that, rather than the other way around!


Sam said...

of course it was doctor and the medics. of course.
cant imagine little old me doing a ryder for someone as grand as norman greenberg can you?